MoneyMoose

Gerri Willis has posted a nice guide on how to save money on heating costs.

“Americans will spend $977 to heat their homes this year, 10% more than last year…

• Get the R-Value
• Measure existing insulation
• Choose your insulation
• Avoid fire”

Although the advice offered here is solid, I’ve got some tips of my own to help you nestled up cozy as a bear. Or a moose. Do moose (mooses? meese? mice) hibernate? I’ll get back to you on that.

• Embrace Fire

Fire has helped our ancestors ever since ol’ Jimmy Cliffpounder got struck my lightning. Without the powers of fire, it’s arguable that humanity could not have survived. Fire has got the longest track record for giving off heat than any other provider (except for perhaps the sun).
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Popularity: 1% [?]

China is the biggest producer of, well, everything. Well, almost everything. Here are some of the few things the Asian giant hasn’t yet beaten America in:

“…The market for autos is dominated by U.S., Japanese and Korean products, but many of these foreign companies… own U.S. factories. Foreign companies use U.S. factories to stay close to the consumer and save on freight costs. China could do the same–but its technology reputation still lags behind its Asian counterparts. If the American public is wary of Chinese-made toys, imagine how a China-stamped auto would fare in its debut year.”

Disregard the above picture. It has absolutely nothing to do with a defective lead-paint based spontaneously combusting car from China.
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Popularity: 1% [?]

The average cost of a private four-year college has risen to a substantial $32,307, according to some new findings by the College Board

“Excluding room and board costs, average published tuition fees at a private four-year college in 2007-08 climbed 6.3 percent year over year to $23,712, according to the College Board, a non-profit association of more than 5,200 schools, colleges and universities.”

6.3% per year. That’s a HUGE INCREASE! My portfolio only gains me around 2 cents a year - a modest 1% increase. Just think of what you could do with all of that money instead of spending it on school. Who needs an edumacation anyway?

Lets say you want to go to Harvard. Trust me, you don’t. You’ve gotta do these things called tests and listen to teachers talk about stuff like why George Washington was such an important part of America. I didn’t get it. Seriously, who is this Washington dude anyway? They also tried to teach me something about eekonamics. Had something to do with numbers, but I really didn’t get it. That’s why I’m publishing a blog based on economics and business - way easier than eekonamics.

Away from that tangent, though. Say you want to go to Harvard. That’ll run you about $40,000 including boarding there and fees. Lets say you get a job at McDonalds instead, keep your 40,000 dollars, and continue living in your parents basement. Your annual salary that you’re going to keep is going to be about $15,000. If you can manage to get a decent portfolio that accrues 10% per year (just listen to Jim Cramer or something. He seems like a smart dude). Think about that. In fact, here’s a very fun graphic that’ll show your career in the food service industry…
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Popularity: 3% [?]

Some interesting new facts about millionaires have emerged.

“The total number of world millionaire households—those with assets of $1 million or more—grew by 14% in 2006, to 9.6 million, representing the richest 0.7% of all households and owning $33.2 trillion, or about a third of the world’s wealth, according to a recent study by the Boston Consulting Group”

Seems that chances of becoming a millionaire are rising. Hopefully I’ll soon be on that list. I only need to earn $999,999.57 more from this blog.

“The U.S. had… nearly 4.6 million [millionaire households], and the highest number of $100 million-plus households, with 2,300. The number of millionaire households increased by a steady 10%.

Japan, Britain, Germany, and China round out the rest of the top five countries with the most millionaire households, in that order.”

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Popularity: 4% [?]

Remarkable Communication has recently posted (an excellent and humorous) article about what you should and shouldn’t do with “elevator pitches.”

Apparently, here’s what’s bad:

“Here’s a widely distributed formula. Everyone has heard it. For most purposes, it sucks.

‘For target customers who are dissatisfied with the current alternative, our magnificent product is a breathtaking new category that provides kickass problem-solving opportunity. Unlike lameass competitor, we have assembled mind-blowing product features. We will initially target the specific victims, since they unique problem they couldn’t resolve if you plated it with titanium and sent it to them FedEx. Our freakishly excellent solution solves this problem by vaporizing the problem into infinitesimal molecules of solved-ness.’”

Lets see just how effective that is.

“For humor-parody-satire-business-money-finance blog readers who are dissatified with current humor-parody-satire-business-money-finance blogs, our blog, MoneyMoose, is on a whole other level that can help you become the richest person in the world. Unlike… uh… other humor-parody-satire-business-money-finance blogs, we provide sarcasm, bad advice, humor, and moose (mooses? meese? mice?). MoneyMoose will initially target humor-parody-satire-business-money-finance blog readers over the age of 90 and under the age of 4 because they either cannot read or have no internet access. Our… uh… magic solves this problem by magically making this blog magical.”

How could you not want to read this blog now?

Popularity: 1% [?]